Friday, August 06, 2010

House Sick

My husband I were house hunting and coming up empty-a real problem since our house sold within three weeks on the market and we needed to move.  We went out the first time and didn’t find anything that made us both stoked to move.  We wanted something older with character but no fixer uppers.  Hardwood floors were a priority for me after three years in the land of carpet.  My husband is smart and wise and practical about housing, but me; I want to have a love relationship complete with tingly feelings and exuberant joy when I find a house.  What I didn’t expect was to have an tawdry affair with the home of my dreams...and for my husband to allow it!

I went out to look for houses again with my Dad while My Darling was at work paying for it.  I toured several nice options but then we got to THE house.  It was a gorgeous Victorian, the home of my dreams at least from the exterior.  Once you love old homes you truly are a goner.  Not just because the rest of your life will be consumed with maintenance and watching You Tube videos about how to re-glaze a window but because anything that isn’t a hundred years old will look to you like a novel without plot twists. Turns out the Victorian house was amazing inside as well.  Another boon; the most frighteningly expensive maintenance item, new windows, had already been taken care of so I was a goner.  High ceilings, skylights, woodwork and bathrooms right out of Country Living.  I was giddy in love and my heart was bleeding for the Victorian out of our price range but still attainable.

After several days of my husband feeling pretty annoyed at my mooning over the Victorian, the time came when he could come with me to look at it.  The only major drawback I could admit to other than price and nasty rental across the street and the potential issues with age was no air-conditioning.  Even heading into an Indiana summer with it’s humidity and cloying heat, I claimed I was HAPPY to sweat in that GORGEOUS immaculate and updated home.  Even though I was expecting our second child.  Nope, I would love to sweat in my dream home.  Like any woman worth her shopping, I could justify anything.  Even no air conditioning.

John did not share my love.  Although I love him for his practical side and the way he guards our finances, my dream home was not his dream girl.  After debating and tears and the verbalized reality that somebody was going to resent somebody if we did or didn’t buy the Vicky as I nauseatingly called it...we decided it would be better if John resented me and we lived in my dream house.  Nice huh?  Do you see where this is going? So we made a fair offer nine grand under list price and went to do some stress eating under the golden arches.  As we drove and talked and gnashed our teeth and shed tears over the whole deal...nobody was happy.  Even though I could possibly get this amazing never before or after possible home...my Love was anxious and tense and worried it would be trouble. I was worried he would be right and we would fight over what would be My house, My Albatross around the neck if the worst came to pass.

We were both miserable...and when we got back to the Realtor’s office from our fat laden stress meal, we heard beautifully releasing words....."They won’t accept your offer.” We both breathed a surprising sigh of relief.  As long as it wasn’t John putting the kabosh on the deal, I could handle it...and I didn’t feel good about paying more even though we could afford to, so it felt like the right answer.

Then our Realtor said some even better words, “I did find another house on Elmhurst, it’s a two story bungalow with hardwood floors, updated kitchen...” Since darling baby Portia had already been sleeping in the car seat we thought, heck, it’s almost 8:30 at night, why not?  It did turn out to be the right house for us and we put an offer on it that night.  I was sad to break off my giddy affair with The Vicky, but I knew when I got married there was to be no dating, affairs or marriage to anyone but John so it had to end.  As selfish as I may be, John is so good to me it really felt wrong to push him into a house he didn’t love too.  I learned an important lesson in love while I was house-sick; The only love relationship and tingly feelings that matter are the ones between me and my man!  The four walls may be important, but without the happy marriage nothing is as good as it looks.

Broadcast by Heather Curlee Novak on August 06, 2010 • WVPE's Audio Archive
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