Friday, December 16, 2005

Riding a Big Rig

There are two kinds of people when it comes to cars: those who view them as machines that simply get you from point A to point B, and those who think they are a source of fun, envy, lust, heartbreak, and host of other powerful emotions and adjectives.  In other words, what you drive is who you are.  Though I may be a member of the middling classes, I’m kinda in the second category.  True, I pale in comparison to those who get the car magazines, who trade in their cars on a regular basis, who obsessively wax and shine their driving machines.  And yet I dream.  As luck would have it, I have had the chance to drive a wide variety of vehicles the past couple of months, and each got me thinking of the joy that driving can bring to one’s sad and despairing life.

First off, I drove a friend’s new Cadillac.  I am by no means a Cadillac kind of guy.  The only other time I have ever driven one was when my car was in the shop and I got a loaner.  It was a big ‘ole Caddy, and it proved you really can bring the living room sofa with you.  But this new Cadillac was an altogether different beast.  I swear you can almost hear the Zeppelin soundtrack that is used in their ubiquitous commercials when you get inside.  The car drives like a good BMW, in other words.  Well done, Detroit!  But could you please change the soundtrack?

And speaking of BMWs, I happened to drive one of their new cars the other day, and all for a good cause.  A BMW breast cancer good cause, to be more exact.  What this involved was driving one of their babies, while for every mile I went, BMW donated a dollar to a foundation dedicated to eradicating the disease.  And so, selfless soul that I am, I hopped into one of their beauties and drove it like there was no tomorrow.  Rationality flew out the window the second I hit the gas pedal.  I became altogether happy knowing my tax dollars were going to protect the oil fields in the Middle East, because when you’re driving a BMW you find the speed limit on Portage Ave. to be an absolute insult to this work of art.  There were also way too many cool buttons inside the cockpit for me to master in 20 minutes.  Good!  And the audio system was just plain awesome.  I didn’t hear any Zeppelin, but I did hear some Springsteen and he was sitting right there next to me.  And the brakes...let me tell you that they could literally stop on a dime, which they needed to do at one point.  Keep those oil fields safe in Iraq boys, cause I sure would like one of these beauties.

But all of these cars are simply prelude to the big enchilada.  The other day I got the altogether unexpected chance to ride in a dump truck, and all because of my little boy and his ongoing truck, car, bus, and motorcycle obsession.  Here’s how it all happened.  I took him to a job site in South Bend to look at some of your basic heavy machinery: you know, back hoes, cement mixers, cranes...the usual stuff.  It was here that I got talking with the crew foreman.  He noticed the awestruck look on my boy’s face and asked me if he would like to go riding in a dump truck.  A 35 ton dump truck to be exact.  I said yes so quickly that my voice went up an octave or two.  A few minutes later a monster-sized dump truck stopped in front of us.  I climbed into the cab, holding my son on my lap.  And off we went to dump that 35 tons of dirt.  We had a job to do and it needed doing now.  As we drove through South Bend, I looked down from my perch and saw oh so many dainty little vehicles in our way.  We were in a serious truck and none of this road trash was gonna stop us.  The driver was an all-around great guy who explained the many switches on the dump truck too.  With amazement I learned that there are quite a few different types of dump trucks and that the newer ones even come with leather seats.  Who knew?  Best of all, if my son ends up therapy, where he will no doubt tell of what a cruel, heartless dad I am, he’ll have to fess up at some point that I also provided him with one of the best moments of his life the day he got to ride in a dump truck.

Broadcast by Jonathan Nashel on December 16, 2005
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