Friday, October 18, 2002
Return to Glory
I had a forty-yardline seat at the recent gridiron battle between the University of Notre Dame Fighting Irish and the Michigan Wolverines, the shocking game in which the Irish proved that championship-caliber college football has returned to South Bend. If you’ve never been to a game, I’d urge you to go—even if you don’t love football. You don’t have to be a football fan to appreciate the sensation caused by 80,000 wishful fanatics when the ball is on the one yardline with the clock ticking down toward that apocalyptic moment when the display is all zeroes. In football, time is always running out; the world has a certain end; but within that 60-minute span, almost anything can happen. The weak can conquer the mighty, prayers can be answered almost instantly and miraculously. The fans are bursting with wishfulness, and that comes out during the game in their cheering and in other, more subtle ways that can only be appreciated at the stadium.
Now is the best time to go there. When I first arrived in South Bend in the fall of 1993, Lou Holtz was coach, and one could imagine the program soaring ever upward in perpetual victory. I had no sympathy for the team then and felt no connection to its fans. Like New York Yankees fans, they all seemed to be spoiled winners who took victory for granted. Judging only by the behavior in my little section of the stadium, I’d have to say that it really did take several years of mediocre football to make winning seem miraculous again. And isn’t winning always miraculous? Do any of us really deserve to win? Losing was rough on these fans, but I think it has transformed them. During the Davie years, anger was at first the common reaction to losing. Fans took each loss as a personal offense, as though Coach Davie had purposely set out to ruin their lives. But perhaps it was only afterwards, after the national embarrassment of having hired the ideal head coach, George O’Leary, an Irish Irish coach, who turned out to be a forger of false resumes—perhaps it was only after that hiring debacle that Irish fans could return to the starting point and begin again without impossibly high expectations—or, more precisely, with humility. Since that nadir, the blessings have fallen upon us like autumn leaves and I think perhaps we have learned to receive football victories for what they are: gifts, pure gifts that only seem to come in response to our wishes but come from some beyond over which we fans have no power.
Not that we don’t try to influence events. At the Michigan game, I was a small part of that sometimes deafening voice we call “the twelfth man.” At this game we were once even the eleventh man. The Wolverines had the ball within the Notre Dame ten yard line, and several fans behind me noticed that the team only had ten men on the field. They began to shout. We could hear others throughout the stadium calling down to the coaches, all of us together creating an inarticulate discontented rumble translatable only as a general complaint: something is wrong. Those of you who were sitting helplessly at home, believe me, we tried. We tried in so many ways to wish the team toward victory.
Every fan is guilty of magical thinking. One particularly vocal fan seated behind me had a way of saying everything three times. He commented aloud on every play, interpreted Coach Willingham’s every move, but he also had his little mantras. For instance, not long after an Irish fumble, this fan started the mantra, “Don’t fumble it, don’t fumble it, don’t fumble it,” before each probable running play. In this scientific, skeptical post-modern age, sports fans are responsible for keeping the flame of magical thinking burning. But that primitive way of thinking, as silly as it might seem on the surface, acknowledges a truth about life in general. We understand our lives as stories, and we give to our happiest stories the structure of wishes come true. We do this even against hope, because in the face of suffering and death we are all underdogs. We don’t deserve to win, but being human is about praying nevertheless for victories small and large. Gifts from the gods.
A random selection from more than 300 Michiana Chronicles -- refresh the browser to see another set:
Joe Chaney -- Return to Glory / More essays by Joe
Louise Collins -- More essays by Louise
April Lidinsky -- More essays by April
Jonathan Nashel -- More essays by Jonathan
Jeff Nixa -- More essays by Jeff
Ken Smith -- More essays by Ken
Jeanette Saddler Taylor -- More essays by Jeanette
