Friday, April 06, 2007

Revisiting the Past

This summer, I made a couple of excursions into past lives.  Nothing involving time travel or necromancy – just memory and the internet.  Curiosity is a powerful drive in my life, so when someone posted to the Chronicles bulletin board last spring to ask if I was the same person who he knew in college in the 80s, I responded.  Responding took some amateur detective work on my part.  The poster left no contact information beyond a nickname, but a quick Google search led me to a blog.  Skimming the themes and links of the blog, I was pretty sure the author was the same person I had known as an undergraduate.  Who else would have the same name, preoccupation with high-end consumer electronics and enthusiasm for English tea-time cookies, even after a quarter century had passed?  So I sent an e-mail.

These days, you don’t have to be an expert sleuth to find out all kinds of stuff about other people’s lives.  Practically everyone is busy posting family holiday pictures to the web, or blogging away about life and work, and kids are narrating their lives as they unfold in real time on MySpace.

If you’ve lost track of a friend from way back when, type her name into a search engine and, chances are you’ll pull up some info.  Maybe someone with the same name crops up in the minutes of a school’s PTO meeting, or in a list of vendors at a Star Trek convention.  A couple of quick cross-checks and you can figure out which one’s her.  Maybe there’s a photo in the newsletter:  “Ha!  I knew it had to be old Sandy.  Still the same smile and I’d recognize those ears anywhere.”

And others can come looking for you, too, as I found.  As it turned out, my old college pal now lives in San Fran, where I was to attend a conference in June, so I suggested we get together, if he happened to be in town.  He was, and we agreed to meet in Golden Gate Park outside the Japanese Tea Garden, after I had spent the morning browsing in the DeYoung museum.

In meeting up again with people from your distant past, you take a little risk.  To some extent, we calibrate our own stories against the lives of people we grew judge up with, and judge our own achievements against theirs.  So, “Remembering when” and “Whatever happened to…” can lead you back through the shadows of memory, to where all the might-have-been selves – who you’d have been if you’d made different choices, if you’d taken a different path - rise up to challenge the self you are today.

It was odd, but pleasant to meet this man again, and to see how our lives have diverged, but have some parallels.  Like me, his hair is now entirely white and he hasn’t dyed his hair either.  Like me, he’s happily married, with no children.  Like me and his earlier self, he is fascinated with art and design.  Unlike me then and now, he was and is rich and a technophile.  Having met him again, even though I’m tempted to see how the story continues, reading his blog would feel like voyeurism now.  He is restored as a real person, not just a shade from my past.

This summer, too, I visited a moment from my husband’s past, his thirtieth high school reunion.  Unlike me, my husband spent his youth in just one small town in northern Minnesota.  So the people I met at the Eagles Social club over deep-fried walleye and warm white wine had all known him and his family for years.  It was the first time I’d visited his hometown, and seen the childhood haunts he’d always told me about.  The trip gave me a chance to meet some of the people he knew back when, and to see the lives he measures his distance from.

Broadcast by Louise Collins on April 06, 2007
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